.... "The Core 4"
I'm still giggling that Jason and I were in the same house doing a LiVE yesterday but in different rooms.... welcome to 2020.
Gosh, my husband was great talking about mindset (if I do say so myself). I live with the guy and I even learned a lot.
I suppose we should start with his definition of mindset:
Mindset is a set of beliefs that gives meaning to our
experience and how we choose to interact with it.
This definition basically tells us that our beliefs shape our experiences. Pretty important stuff! So maybe we should CHOOSE beliefs that serve our goals.
His "Core 4" beliefs really resinated with me as it did for many others yesterday. These 4 beliefs are the foundation of his Mindset 101 course he offers hockey players and parents in his private Up My Hockey Facebook page...
Here they are...
You get to choose your beliefs.
The universe is friendly. (or neutral if you're not a sunshine a rainbows kinda person)
There's always an opportunity.
There's a solution to everything.
Now, they may seems pretty simple. But you'd be surprised how many unconscious reactions we have in a day where we could use the core 4 to grow and become a better version of ourselves.
Being conscious of the meaning we give our experiences is the first and sometimes hardest step.
I could seriously get stuck on #1 for years. Since the time we were born we have been shaping our beliefs and many of which we are unaware of. This is where the importance of what we say as parents, teachers and coaches really comes into play.
I think we can all agree we want the best for our kids/students, right?
And we hate seeing them upset.
But here's the deal...
We need to do them a favour by not telling them they didn't win because the judge, ref, coach or teacher doesn't know what they're talking about. (even if it's the truth) Don't point the finger anywhere else but ourselves.
Instead, the conversation needs to be, "Did you do your best?" "If not, how can you be more prepared next time." Help them make a plan and encourage them to stick to it.
Just to be clear, I didn't say...
Make a plan for them and make them stick to it.
It needs to be apart of their core beliefs.
I have to be honest, sometimes my husband drives me crazy because he analyzes the crap out of everything but this is pretty profound stuff. Love you Babe.
And #2. Yes, the universe is kind. The reality is that sometimes people aren't nice or "on our side". But if we operate from a place where the universe isn't against us then we find the positive and move forward rather then drowning in the negative crap that we can't control anyway!
This is where my biggest obstacle as a teacher comes in.
When I give a correction to a dancer in class and they cry, I feel awful. It's like I've just told them that they're an awful dancer when all I'm trying to do is make them better. It's an issue that's been weighing on me for years. I feel like I can't do my job effectively if I don't give corrections yet I don't want to see anyone cry.
I'm going to keep working on this. I know there's more I can do as a teacher in these scenarios to support my students to better shape their beliefs around corrections. I think an even greater and consistent communication with those students who are effected in this way would be a good place to start.
If anyone has any suggestions or comments around this I'm all ears.
#3, Finding the opportunity. This is sometimes hard to see especially when things aren't going the way we had hoped or originally planned.
Let's take COVID for example...
Spring did not look the same in the dance community. With competitions and shows canceled it may have felt to some like our opportunities were ripped out from under us. But this time was actually an amazing time to grow. I know a couple dancers who grabbed onto this opportunity and ran with it. They are probably stronger dancers now then they would have been on this day had COVID not happened.
Kuddos to you dancers who saw this opportunity!!!
Which brings us to #4.... There is a solution to everything. If you want something bad enough there is a solution.
I have a student named Peyton (11 years old) who wanted to do private lessons with me over COVID but it just wasn't in the financial plan for her family. She didn't throw her hands up and give up. She found a solution. She did a bottle drive and raised the money on her own.
I LOVE THIS SOOOOOO MUCH! She is 11 and found a solution. She is such an inspiration to me!
My husband, Jason Podollan, is a mindset coach for hockey players who want to go to the big leagues. It takes more than talent to make it and mindset is the key component.
His "Core 4" gives everyone (athlete or not) the power to choose how they feel, approach and react to situations. They give you the power.... however some people may not want that power because with power comes responsibility.
It might just be easier to point the finger away from you and place the blame elsewhere when things don't go your way.
But we don't grow and become better with that mindset.
I need to sit with these "Core 4" beliefs for awhile still. There is a lot here to apply but I'm super excited to hear about my hubs Mindset 102 and beyond when I'm ready.